Getting It All Done: Delete It

Hey-o, dear readers! This is the third part in a four-part series to answer the question posed by my friend Felicia in response to a call for blog topics: "A "getting it all done"-sort of thing?"

There are four options to get something done: delegate it, defer it, delete it or do it. Today, we're talking about the third one of these, which can cause the most anxiety but be the most liberating: deciding something just plain doesn't need doing.

This item obviously applies more to the tasks we take on by ourselves than the ones we're assigned by a manager or client. But it's so easy to overwhelm ourselves with things we believe we need to do, never stopping to examine why we believe we need to do them.

In the introduction to this series, I asked you to begin thinking of the potential consequences for not doing each task. This is where that approach can really pay off.

If, for instance, you've tasked yourself with making an amazing dessert for a party you don't even really want to attend, consider the consequences for not doing it. If you just make brownies from a box, will there be any consequences, or will the attendees happily scarf up the brownies? (My personal experience dictates the latter.) Furthermore, if you decide to RSVP "no" to the party, will there be any consequences, or will you be free to enjoy an evening some other way?

Often the most powerful consequence we apply to ourselves is if that we don't do something, someone won't like us or won't approve of us. Not only does this fear tend to nudge us towards living our lives based on someone else's responses, it sells the other person short. If someone only likes you because of what you do for them, they don't actually like you; they merely find you useful. Hopefully, you have more genuine relationships in your life.

We also tend to add unnecessary to-dos to our lives because we feel we "should" be doing certain things to live up to an image that's often highly unrealistic. We create a "superman/woman" standard and drive ourselves to meet that standard, ignoring the much more important standard of being ourselves and being true to our mission(s) in life.

If you find yourself reluctant to delete some items from your to-do list, ask yourself if each item resonates with your individual mission, whether it's to write amazing books or lead a department at work. If you have that item on your list solely because you feel it's the sort of thing an archetype of a successful/upstanding/popular person would do, it's not really serving you. It can probably go.

At first, you might feel guilty about deleting items from your to-do list. If it helps, try to think of it as streamlining your activities; you're removing the extraneous stuff to give you more energy for the important things. Deleting items becomes more comfortable with time and practice, and soon you're likely to see it for the important focusing tool it is.

What about you? What items have you deleted from your to-do list recently, and how did it feel? Let me know in the comments!

Comments

[Emilee Cantieri]

Not reading a book for our discussion group saved me hours. I read the first 2 chapters, despised main character, skipped to the end and donated it to the book sale. Of course, if everybody did this, there would be no discussion. Still, it worked for me.